Raising My Tiny Disciples

I really do want to do it all but:

I look at my sweet little guy eating his bites of dinner and nothing else matters. The table full of left over taco mess and the floor. Yeah I’ll get to it.. eventually

I am laying down with Piper frustrated because she won’t go to sleep after an hour of trying. Then she finally snuggles in and figures out its bedtime. Just watching her fall asleep makes my heart melt.

I do want to do a lot of things. Or dream of big things. But really in the moment. I’m just working on enjoying the everyday life. Me trying to figure out how to blow up the kids little pool because its finally almost 90 in Illinois. (That was hilarious btw well now it’s funny when I was living it I was quite frustrated actually.

I’ve come to the conclusion that the important things really are being here for my family so its time to take care of myself. I need to stop eating so much junk. There are people who wish they could lose 10lbs to fit in a swimsuit for summer. Not me. I’m the biggest I’ve every been my whole life besides when I was pregnant. I don’t like feeling like this. Who would? Will I make it to the gym 5 days a week? Unlikely -I don’t really want my kids there that much. But I can go 3 times at least. I can get my 10,000 steps in everyday. I was doing 8000 so what’s an extra 2000? Jace and I went for a nice walk around the barn and I finished it up today. That was refreshing. I was proud of myself. Now I just need to keep it up and do it again and again.

But let’s circle back to this cooking thing. A lot of days my kids eat frozen protein pancakes for breakfast and most days peanut butter and jelly for lunch. Dinner… is hit or miss. I’ve been trying to include at least one thing I know they will eat. But again who knows? Sometimes I figure they’re absolutely going to eat their mac & cheese and then they just leave it on their plates 🤦‍♀️ So I try a different recipe. Or try to let then help me cook so they will want to eat. But some nights I still find myself wondering.. why do I cook?